A Sarcastic Appetite


Chocolate Chip Cake with Chocolate Frosting
October 6, 2009, 8:56 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

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This. was. a. production. Also, I am pretty sure Martha Stewart is trying to kill me, but of course I didn’t realize this until halfway through the frosting part of things, when I read “Four and a half sticks of butter,” choked a little, and tried to come up with a viable Plan B. Four and a half sticks!?! Are you mad, woman?

But it was too late: the rest of the frosting (a pound and a half of chocolate, thankyouverymuch) had already been melted and cooled, and the cakes themselves had already been baked. So I had no choice but to soldier on, throw everything together and say a little prayer for my arteries – which, as we know, already get a workout around here.

And, okay, to be perfectly honest, it was partly a production because I tried to put the vanilla extract in the cupboard without looking, and of course it fell off the shelf and smashed into a million pieces, so I had to stop everything and clean it all up and would you believe how tiny shards of glass can be? And maybe if I had given myself a Saturday afternoon to bake this, as opposed to a harried several hours on a Monday night, I might not have felt so rushed that as I was shoving the cake into the fridge so the frosting would set, the plate slid off the shelf and the whole thing collapsed into my lap and onto the floor?

Yeah, that happened. It really, really did. Had I the wherewithal to take a picture of the frosting that completely covered my jeans, and a surprising amount of the shelf in the fridge, and maybe also so I could stand back and laugh at the hilarity of the situation, I would have…but I was too angry. And flabbergasted. And really just beside myself.

Luckily, I was able to salvage the top layer of the cake, with almost all of the frosting somehow still fully intact. (It was either that or throw the whole mess at the wall….which seemed ill-advised.) And then, I cleaned the kitchen. For the fourth time.

Despite my best efforts, the cake is actually pretty good. Just make your own favorite chocolate frosting – maybe one that’s a little more subtle in its threat to your arteries. Be careful when you put the vanilla extract away, and please for the sweet love of all that is holy in this world, pay attention when you’re putting the damn thing in the fridge. Or you know what, maybe just leave it there on the counter. Hmmph.

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Chocolate Chip Cake with Chocolate Frosting

Adapted from Martha Stewart’s Cupcakes. Makes 2 9 inch cakes…or 30 cupcakes, supposedly.

3 1/4 c. cake flour

4 1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1 tbsp. vanilla extract

1 c. + 2 tbsp. milk

1 stick + 6 tbsp. butter (1 3/4 sticks)

1 3/4 c. sugar

5 large egg whites at room temperature

12 oz. semisweet chocolate chips

1 tbsp. cake flour

Preheat the oven to 325º and butter two 9″ cake pans. In a small bowl, whisk the cake flour, baking powder, and salt. Stir the vanilla extract into the milk to combine.

Cream the butter, adding the sugar little by little until it’s pale and fluffy. Add the flour mixture in 3 batches, alternating with the milk mixture in 2 batches. In another bowl, beat the egg whites until stiff peaks form (this will take several minutes). Fold one third of the egg whites into the batter to lighten it, then fold the rest in.

Toss the chocolate chips with the tbsp. of flour and gently fold those into the batter. Divide evenly among the cake pans and bake for about 23-25 minutes (be vigilant!) – the cakes are done when a toothpick comes out just clean. Once cool, frost with Dark Chocolate Frosting.

Dark Chocolate Frosting

Makes about 5 cups.

1 1/2 lbs. best quality semisweet chocolate, melted and cooled

1/2 c. plus 1 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder

1/2 c. boiling water

4 1/2 sticks (!!!) butter, room temperature

3/4 c. confectioner’s sugar, sifted if you can be bothered

1/4 tsp. salt

(Now would be the time to melt and cool that damn chocolate.) Then, combine the boiling water and unsweetened cocoa, dissolving the cocoa completely. Cream the butter, sugar and salt until pale and fluffy. Add the melted chocolate; beat until combined, then add the cocoa mixture. It can go in the fridge to set a little if need be.

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3 Comments so far
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Upsetting!

Comment by Jacque

[…] I swear I can feel my arteries clenching up as I write this. And we all know I don’t need much more of […]

Pingback by Virtuous Lentils « A Sarcastic Appetite

[…] get frosted until about 11 pm, at which point I threw it in the fridge – thankfully without it sliding into my lap. I finally tried it the next day…and it’s amazing. It’s mocha without being […]

Pingback by Mocha Cake with Chocolate Ganache « A Sarcastic Appetite




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